Poetry: Black Beauty (In This Silence, I believe)
The True Colors Series, Installment II
Black Beauty ; In This Silence, I Believe
react-text: 2357 The second installment in the /react-text True Colors Collection react-text: 2360 , and perhaps the most in-depth. With the themes revolving around drug addiction, death obsession, mental illness, and emotional turmoil, D'Settemi delivers another candid and shocking installment with her trademark style of course, in play. /react-text react-text: 2362 Here we discuss /react-text Black Beauty.
KO: react-text: 2368 You penned many of these poems throughout various periods. Do you still feel the same when you read them?
/react-text NDS: react-text: 2371 They definitely allow you, and almost FORCE you, to relive a lot of different emotions. I don't know if that is a good thing, but it is a tool for self-awareness. If you can ADMIT your wrong-doings, your mistakes, your faults, you will become strong and in tact. It's people who always have excuses, victimize themselves, that are miserable. The interesting thing is, the people who HAVE THE MOST excuses, often don't allow for others to AT ALL. They hold the least compassion, and they are often provocative, too. They like to push buttons, pull the tigers tail, and then play victim when they get bit--get told off. I had to understand that this personality type, it was a toxic negative type, and I did NOT want to ever become that, so I admitted to my mistakes, took them like a woman, and built a life for myself. /react-text react-text: 2373 Only 1% of heroin addicts recover, and not only did I recover but I also managed to pen a 350 page novel that's gained critical acclaim by numerous authors, and peers, as well as designing, facilitating and running my own creative assistance firm, which is expanding by the day! SO I PULLED THE ANTI-VICTIM MOVE. /react-text
KO: Black Beauty react-text: 2377 is part of the /react-text True Colors react-text: 2380 theme. Why the title /react-text Black Beauty react-text: 2383 ? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2386 The theme revolving around colors and shades, to describe emotional waves is really just a very easy, blunt way of saying /react-text this is how I feel, react-text: 2388 like this shade, or that tone. Colors make sense to me, because they change, and we change, and as we change and transform, it's difficult sometimes, to articulate those moods--the vibrancy, or the murkiness, when you attach something vivid like fluorescent orange, or midnight black, it gives people a vision, something to hold on to. They can relate then, and therefore they can ride those waves with you. Moods are hard to define, and it's hard to remember feeling a certain way sometimes, but if I use the metaphor of a color, it's an abstraction of the emotion, and it makes sense to most others who read the material. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2392 Absolutely. It's very vivid. Going back to the victim thing, so you basically pulled an anti-victim move? --You changed your perspective? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2395 Yes. Exactly. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I was like, so what if this happened? So what if I can't see in one eye? Big deal. You know? I simplified it to myself. Everyone's had troubles, heartache and break, financial woes, maternal woes, depression and anxiety. That IS LIFE. These people who are so entitled, and can't even SEE it, think they are victims, when really they are toxic. They are negative. Negativity is NOT a good thing. If you are miserable, it's because you refuse to be anything else. Change some things, and you may find happiness. Stop being so damned ungrateful to the force that is LIFE. Stop expecting others to cater to you. Get up and take action! And, be realistic. Admit your wrong-doings. Trust me, it helps. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2399 What is your personal favorite, of this set of poems? /react-text
NDS: Black Beauty react-text: 2404 has the darkest elements, probably, and so of these poems, I think that /react-text Shattered Glass react-text: 2407 makes a firm and eye-opening statement. Perhaps, the most. Of course addiction-themed poems like /react-text House of Thunder react-text: 2410 are of equal impression, but /react-text Shattered Glass react-text: 2413 is a feministic rant. It's about the will to be perfect, the young woman who believes that if she is perfect--physically, especially--she will HAVE a perfect life, everything will fall into place. And, that of course, is not ever really the case, so she begins to detest her obsession with beauty. The more beautiful she becomes, the more she suffers. The more she dies inside. Because, the reality of imperfection comes barging in, there is always somebody prettier, smarter, 'better' according to society, and that is a tough lesson to learn. It's a reality we are forced to swallow. Men have set women up against one another, for ions. Claiming to want one thing, and then chasing the opposite. It is enough to make us mad, and many women do go mad. Then they take it out on other women, instead of men. These are the type of females, who will defend an abusive man, but try to demonize a woman for the same, or even less flaws. It's beyond pathetic. It's downright sad. Some women care so much about a man's opinion of them, they will do anything to keep up with the false image. It's beyond desperation, I don't even know what to call it, but pitiful. I am 35, and can HONESTLY say, I don't have the energy or desire to worry anymore about men. /react-text Do they think I'm beautiful? Do they think I'm angelic? Smart? Lovely? Graceful? Seductive? Charming? react-text: 2415 And, so on. I've been tagged all of those things, a billion times, and it has never gotten me anywhere. The only thing it brings is a fierce hate from other women, particularly plain women. I'd rather use my head than my body, but it's taken me many years to develop fully. I think that I see female beauty as a sort of, artistic evolution, now. I admire a woman's beauty more than a man's. Though, I am attracted to men. I find the woman, quite lovely. As an aesthete I can fall in visual love with a beautiful woman. Her penetrating eyes, her pouty lips, a woman with curves in the right places. I think when I look in the mirror, and if I am happy seeing those things in myself, it's from a more artistic prospective. Like, my face and body are my canvas' and; /react-text look what I've created. react-text: 2417 From my hair down to my clothes--it's always artistic. That's why I LOVE make-up. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2421 How do you feel about women? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2424 I stopped competing with 'woman' and started loving her, as stated. Many moons ago. I realized women let men dictate everything, including who they are, or become. A woman calls herself strong if she does everything--handles all the responsibilities, settles for a man who is incompetent and lazy. It's not strength, it's a weakness. A real woman of strength would NEVER settle for that. Make excuses for his atrocious behaviors. I was truly disgusted by women always demonizing one another. Really, men love to cause drama between two women, or more. Love to be fought over. And, women do it! He can have a string of lovers, and she will blame them, not him. It's pathetic, sad, frightening, and yes, STUPID. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2428 Do you hate 'man'? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2431 No. I see man as human. The same as WOMAN. All of us are human, men try to turn women ethereal, and then they are disappointed when she can't meet their standards. Every man wants an 'angel,' a saint. I can't tell you how many times men have dubbed me 'angel,' but usually with me, dark angel. [Laughs.] /react-text
KO: react-text: 2435 And, you tried to break that barrier? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2438 I tried to say look, /react-text I love you for you react-text: 2440 , /react-text flawed and broken react-text: 2442 . Do the same for me. But, they want every woman to be this sort of mother and daughter figure. Motherly in the sense she takes care of them, will baby them, loves them unconditionally. But, a daughter in the physical sense. Pretty, no wrinkles, smooth skin, silky hair. Childish face, gestures, a child's need for love. Loyalty, that only children and animals give. They don't want her to be too smart. Bright, but naïve. They love a woman who has a certain naivete. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2446 Do you think of yourself as a feminist leader? /react-text
NDS: react-text: 2449 Not so much a leader, as a partner. An equal to other women. It kills me how some women think being feminine means acting like a man. A misogynistic one at that. That is NOT feminism. Hating woman, her behaviors, does not make you a feminist. Acting like a controlling MAN, does not make you a feminist. Paying his bills doesn't make you an 'independent' woman! It makes you a co-dependent, desperate one. Even if I am the one providing more, he is going to contribute everything he has, and can, the same as I DO, and my man does. /react-text
KO: react-text: 2453 (laughing) I love doing this with you. Thanks for the chat Nicole! We will commence next month.
/react-text NDS: react-text: 2456 Absolutely, and thank you Kae. I am so excited to see the re-launch of BlogOsFear and it's new and reinvented look! [ ]
